Nature is Happiness

This quote just about sums up why we moved, or I should say, why I wanted to move.  I've been in Southern California for almost 14 years (gasp!) and while I can't complain about much, it has never seemed like home.  After returning from a trip, I am always pleasantly surprised at how much I like the scenery and the weather, of course, is always amazingly beautiful.  But I guess I've expected it to become, over time, like a favorite pair of old jeans, or a favorite pair of comfy shoes that instantly make you breathe deep and smile when you slip them on.  And it hasn't.

The dream of having space and animals started years ago.  The space I have always craved, So Cal subdivisions have always felt claustrophobic and 'cult-like' to me, very...well, wrong.  And having a long history woven with plants of all sorts, it just seemed natural to have gardens which postage stamp sized lots don't allow. The animals dream came once I started knitting and met my first alpaca.  Or maybe it started when Tim and I got our first dog, Curly-Fries, way back in 1994.  Being avid animal lovers, and the realization that Curly was the Best Dog Ever, we instantly wanted space to have 10 pugs and run a rescue.  That was the pipe dream anyway.

What I don't think I realized was my need for space, until we actually moved.  In just weeks it seems, I was happier, more productive, more energized that I have felt in years, honestly.  Our 1979 house is nothing like the professionally decorated model home we moved from.  Things are mishmash. Things barely work. Things like cupboards and closets are seriously lacking.  Things break all.the.time.  Yet, it was almost instantly home.  Even Tim, who bears the financial responsibility for all of this and does enjoy his creature comforts, felt it too.  He told me after living here for 6 months that this was the first place we have lived in our 20 year history that he could not imagine losing or leaving.

Tim's comment meant the world to me, though I'm not sure I've duly expressed that to him.  You see, he is always the man with Plans B and C lined up if his business goes bust or the world does come crashing in around us.  All of those plans eliminate whatever mortgage we are paying at the time, being our biggest budget item, and at least one of those plans always involves moving into our tow trailer on his parents property in north Idaho and shooting squirrel for food.  The fact that he is having trouble creating Plans B and C without the farm is huge!  But perhaps the most rewarding compliment and confirmation that this is, without a doubt, the right move came from the Boy a few day ago.

G releasing Olive Ridley hatchlings in Todos Santos

My son is almost 8, and his heart and soul are so much like mine.  He is sensitive to a fault and goes through phases where his emotions are just too much for him.  This holiday break has been great, as most are, and the past week he has been very weepy about it coming to an end.  He is scared of fitting back into a routine, school will be hard, he will miss his dad and I SO much after spending so much time together.  He's been in tears everyday, several times a day for....days.  Sunday I asked him to come outside with me, it was a gorgeous day and I had farm work to do.  He grumbled a bit but followed. We collected eggs, found some mushrooms, trimmed and planted succulents, fed and pet the goats.  After 15 minutes he stopped and looked at me with a huge smile and bright green eyes and told me how happy he was.  "Nature is Happiness, mom" is what he said to me and asked me to remind him of this moment the next time he felt sad.  We proceeded to have a long, deep conversation on our feelings and the benefits of nature and living things and what spending time outside and care taking the land and animals actually provides us physically and emotionally.   As I continued to watch him that afternoon I realized that this moment may have been a catalyst moment for my boy.  The type of moment I was sort of hoping this move would provide.  The type of moment that you remember forever, if not in exact detail, by the way it shifted your path.  Only time will tell.