Under siege

Billy and Hercules investigating their recent demolition of the barn door

I started out this blog past a week ago with a nice paragraph about the miracles witnessed during the first full spring on the farm.  This morning, I deleted all that mush about baby birds and baby bunnies and budding fruit trees.  The title is the same, most of the subject matter will be the same, but frankly, this morning I am done with anything mush and nice.  Done.  I am not loving farm life at the moment.  The reality, some days, outstrips the dream.

I could go back and tell you about the first rattlesnake of the season, which is what I had started last week.  However, the second rattlesnake of the season is far more drama filled.  My second sighting occurred Monday, and unfortunately, the pugs found the snake first.  I was alerted to its unwelcome presence while cleaning the chicken coop, I heard an unfamiliar noise that frankly didn't sound at all like the snakes I had heard before.  Upon investigation, I saw my 'smart' pug, Lucy, doing her absolute best to get at something inside an upended pallet I had leaning against the fence.  So, no, that sound was not a power washer next door, but a baby rattler curled up only centimeters from my girl pugs nose.

I quickly got her away, checked for the other two dogs who were nowhere in the vicinity and herded everyone back inside.  I checked Lucy over for bite wounds and found she was fine, despite doing her best to get bitten.  The snake wasn't in a location that was accessible to my snake weapon of choice, the flat nosed shovel, so I momentarily thought of loading up the pellet gun to rid us of this undesirable.  Until I realized it would be safer for everyone if I just called the Fire Dept to haul it away. And they did, the ever knowledgeable Captain Barker and her young, good looking firemen came within minutes and captured the baby snake.  Nice of her to let me know that one that small means there was a nest and likely more of the same size close by.  Thanks, just thanks.

Tater's hospital picture.

It wasn't until about an hour later I realized that my main squeeze, Tater-Tot had found that snake first and been bitten.  I didn't check him over for punctures like I had Lucy because he was nowhere near the snake when I heard it.  My best guess is that he found it first, was bitten, and then Lucy responded to the rattle once it was pissed.  In hindsight, I feel terrible that I didn't check him over right away, he had been in that location, so had I just moments before the snake warned us.  What is even worse?  Even after realizing Tater was in pain and had a little swelling on his chin, I still didn't think it was a snake bite, I thought it was the countless bees that were also in that area that had stung him.  I had to look him over 3 times before I found the telltale puncture wounds.  At that point I was terrified because it had been about 90 minutes since I first heard the snake.

After a really scary and worrisome 24-36 hours, Mr. Tot is doing great!  He got the antivenin, and reversed some blood clotting issues that were already developing.  His face, neck and chest got really swollen, but luckily the bite only reached soft tissue so it didn't cause swelling in his throat or airways, just his flappy, flabby neck region.  Today, Wednesday, he is resting comfortably on his bed, drugged up on pain meds and antibiotics.  The swelling has gone down enough that he doesn't look quite like a freak show, although the degree of bruising on his neck and chest is still pretty scary looking.  All in all, he will be fine, we were all lucky.  I got some great tips from the fire captain about how to help control the snake population by reducing their preferred hiding spots and greatly lowering the rodent population on our property to  decrease the snake food supply.  Many hours of work that just made it to the top of the priority list for the weekend.

Now, as if nearly losing a cherished pet to a snakebite wasn't bad enough, there have been other events and drama that contribute to the loss of a bit of shine on this farming gig.  Let's move on to the bees.  I have discovered what I believe to be a colony of africanized bees about 12 inches from the faucet I use to water my fruit trees.  Monday, I was stung 3 times by said bees.  I didn't know they were there, I went to move the hose to another tree when I got zapped, causing me to spill my coffee and pissing me off.  By the third sting, I had thrown my new favorite coffee cup and was cussing like a sailor.  You forget how much those things hurt.

look closely and you can see the yellow bees, fascinating picture, I know

Yesterday, I had no problem with the bees, I used the faucet, I stayed out of their way and no one was hurt.  Today, I carefully approach the faucet, and I am attacked....aggressively by several bees.  I get stung once or twice, I run about 30 yards to the corral, and find that I have been followed and get stung again...for a total of 4 times.  Today.  Additionally, those Effer's follow me another 30 yards to the house, 2 bees came inside, one stung ChiChi on the tail before I got the flyswatter to kill the other.  No, I am so not joking.  Needless to say, the bee removal guy has been called and I have a total of 7 bee stings in 48 hrs.  Sheesh.

Even more goat mischief, they keep dismantling their feeder

But don't worry, I am not done with the drama!  It wouldn't be a Elfin Life blog post without tales of a naughty goat.  To top it off, this morning I also discovered Petey got a red dye job on his white topknot overnight.  Except the only thing in the corral capable of turning him that color is blood.  Petey and Chuppie are best buddies, and, as best bud goats do, they play headbutting games all the time.  One concern when you disbud baby goats is that you completely kill the horn buds, otherwise, they get these things called scurs which are small, malformed parts of a horn.  Chuppie gets them, his horn buds were not completely removed when he was  disbudded.  Eventually, through all the head butting, the scurs get broken and bleed a little and then they grow back. That is the process as I have seen it. This time, however, there is a LOT of blood. Now that I have calmed down after the bee stings, I have to go back out into the wild to wash and disinfect Chuppies head and apply some wound spray. I also need to go pick up some antibiotics so I can inject him....he bled a lot. And of course I need to clean up Petey too. Anyone that has spent a few minutes with me since November knows that I LOVE my goaties, I love them to bits. But this, coupled with Petey chewing up the wiring for the auto chicken door AGAIN (re-engineer #4 coming up, to be completely encased with hardware cloth) and Bluebell having some kind of dandruff issue I can't cure which is ruining her gorgeous fleece is about to make me pull my hair out. I just don't want to clean up bloody goat heads today. I wanted to dye silky, shiny goat fleece instead.

But that, my friends, is the life of a farmer.....the good, the bad and the ugly.